3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
