In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
