loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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