There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
