Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
did i walk over a car last night?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
