so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
