She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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