Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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