Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
