He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
