He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
