her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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