Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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