I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
