so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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