So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
not ubering you a puppy
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
