You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
