Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
