I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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