I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my poor anus
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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