HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
