don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
