PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
