I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
