There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
