I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
