Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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