I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
