Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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