We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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