My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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