I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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