Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
