even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I lost the right to judge tonight
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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