How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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