I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
im on a boat
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