dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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