New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
