Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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