Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
do nipples grow back?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
