drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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