She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
