i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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