i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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