Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize