I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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