I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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