yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
