His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
