my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
