I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
