did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
