she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
