Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize