You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
