Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
