I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
