Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
