I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
