drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
