I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Drake has all the answers
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
