I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
