I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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