I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
