thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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