I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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